You cannot become someone new while carrying a grievance that requires you to stay the woman it happened to. Resentment is a kind of contract: it keeps the old identity legally binding.
Forgiveness here is not approval, reconciliation, or forgetting. It is the decision to stop paying interest on a debt that will never be repaid. It is a private act of release, and it is done for you.
Some of what needs forgiving is your own. Be at least as generous with yourself as you would be with a woman you love.
Before you write
Write the unsent letter. Do not send it. When you are finished, place your hand over the page and say: I release this, and I release the version of me that needed it to stay.
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Unedited, unkind if it needs to be, and entirely for you.
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Affirmation
I lay down what I have been carrying so that my hands are free.